#1: If you feel like crying, CRY.
Do not feel shame in feeling sorrow.
For years, I refused to let myself cry. I bottled up every emotion, and tucked it away within the confines of my heart. Trying to never allow myself to fall apart is ultimately the reason why I did.
I was scared of my sadness. I was afraid to face the reality that came with losing my son. I was afraid that if I allowed myself to think, to remember the morning of June 15, 2004, I would only remember my son's face as he laid there, lifeless. I was horrified at the thought of allowing this to consume me. I HAD to be strong. I HAD to push on. I HAD to forget.
The reality is, I couldn't forget. No matter how hard my brain wanted these images to wash, my heart would never let that happen.
Aiden is my son, whether he is on this Earth to hold my hand, or in Heaven gripping my heart - HE IS my son.
Allowing yourself to have moments of sadness, will in turn keep your from spiraling out of control into a depression. Giving yourself permission to love, and to miss, and to mourn is the first step in allowing yourself to grieve.
Like boiling water to a lidded pot - it will overflow. There will come a day when all these attempts to hide your emotion will fail and these unsatisfied feelings will manifest themselves into self-destructive behavior.
Allow yourself to vent. Allow yourself to heal. Allow yourself to cry.
For years, I refused to let myself cry. I bottled up every emotion, and tucked it away within the confines of my heart. Trying to never allow myself to fall apart is ultimately the reason why I did.
I was scared of my sadness. I was afraid to face the reality that came with losing my son. I was afraid that if I allowed myself to think, to remember the morning of June 15, 2004, I would only remember my son's face as he laid there, lifeless. I was horrified at the thought of allowing this to consume me. I HAD to be strong. I HAD to push on. I HAD to forget.
The reality is, I couldn't forget. No matter how hard my brain wanted these images to wash, my heart would never let that happen.
Aiden is my son, whether he is on this Earth to hold my hand, or in Heaven gripping my heart - HE IS my son.
Allowing yourself to have moments of sadness, will in turn keep your from spiraling out of control into a depression. Giving yourself permission to love, and to miss, and to mourn is the first step in allowing yourself to grieve.
Like boiling water to a lidded pot - it will overflow. There will come a day when all these attempts to hide your emotion will fail and these unsatisfied feelings will manifest themselves into self-destructive behavior.
Allow yourself to vent. Allow yourself to heal. Allow yourself to cry.
