#4: Accepting what is the unacceptable.
When Aiden passed, I knew in my head that he was gone; but my heart still bled for him, still bleeds for him.
I found myself still waking up in the middle of the night to check on him, but he was not there. I found myself putting away his clean clothes in his dresser, as if he would wear them again. I found myself sterilizing his bottles, even though he would never drink from them again.
I believed that once my heart accepted he was gone, then my pain would diminish. I was wrong.
Acceptance is not just knowing that your child is no longer here, but accepting that your heart will always ache and you will always miss him/her. This is not to say that days don't get easier, this is only to say that this pain will always be there. However, there are ways to manage, to cope, to breathe.
I found myself still waking up in the middle of the night to check on him, but he was not there. I found myself putting away his clean clothes in his dresser, as if he would wear them again. I found myself sterilizing his bottles, even though he would never drink from them again.
I believed that once my heart accepted he was gone, then my pain would diminish. I was wrong.
Acceptance is not just knowing that your child is no longer here, but accepting that your heart will always ache and you will always miss him/her. This is not to say that days don't get easier, this is only to say that this pain will always be there. However, there are ways to manage, to cope, to breathe.
