#7: Explaining grief to siblings.
Some of you may be parents to more than one child. After the loss of one child, the other children can often (without fault) be pushed to the side as we drown ourselves in our sorrow and grief. We, as parents, don't have the answers to why our baby is no longer here -- So how can we explain this to a child and expect them to understand?
When Aiden died, my oldest son, Caleb, was only a year old. Now Caleb is 7. Caleb can still recall the EMT's coming to the house that day and taking Aiden into the ambulance. Children not only have the ability to retain a lot of information, but have the ability to understand more than we give them credit for.
As with any traumatic situation, as much as we would like to, it is important that we do not close ourselves off from the world and isolate ourselves in grief and mourning. Support systems are very crucial in getting through the initial stages of this tragedy. Not only we, as parents, need support, but our children do too.
Allow them to be a part of the funeral services/memorial services. Explain to them that their brother/sister is in heaven (or whatever positive explanation you can come up with). Reassure them that it is okay to talk about their brother/sister and/or their sadness concerning the same. When a child dies, when your child dies, its hard to see clearly as our lives become consumed in a fog of shock, denial, anger and sadness. But is important to remember that we still have others depending on us to get them through this tragic time as well.
When Aiden died, my oldest son, Caleb, was only a year old. Now Caleb is 7. Caleb can still recall the EMT's coming to the house that day and taking Aiden into the ambulance. Children not only have the ability to retain a lot of information, but have the ability to understand more than we give them credit for.
As with any traumatic situation, as much as we would like to, it is important that we do not close ourselves off from the world and isolate ourselves in grief and mourning. Support systems are very crucial in getting through the initial stages of this tragedy. Not only we, as parents, need support, but our children do too.
Allow them to be a part of the funeral services/memorial services. Explain to them that their brother/sister is in heaven (or whatever positive explanation you can come up with). Reassure them that it is okay to talk about their brother/sister and/or their sadness concerning the same. When a child dies, when your child dies, its hard to see clearly as our lives become consumed in a fog of shock, denial, anger and sadness. But is important to remember that we still have others depending on us to get them through this tragic time as well.
